


The Sleeping Situation

by InfinityUndone



Category: Helltaker (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Character Study, Harems, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Masturbation, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Off-screen Relationship(s), Roommates, Sexual Humor, azazel is super lesbian and hasnt figured it out yet, but also a good one, helltaker is a freaky dude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28585209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinityUndone/pseuds/InfinityUndone
Summary: Azazel can't sleep. Both because of all the noise in the house, and because of her own thoughts.
Relationships: Azazel & The Helltaker (Helltaker), Helltaker/Harem
Comments: 1
Kudos: 53





	The Sleeping Situation

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic of 2021. I was super late to the party, I only found out about Helltaker a couple of months ago. Oh well.

Azazel had to admit, life with the Helltaker and his harem wasn’t too bad. The house was nice, had plenty of amenities, and the food was always good. She’d gotten so much great material for her research, and she’d only been here a week.

But it wasn’t all delicious pancakes and new knowledge. With ten people in the house (twelve if you counted Cerberus as three beings), and most of those people being demons with highly violent and destructive tendencies, it was bound to get a little chaotic. Pandemonica tended to get stabby if not given perfect coffee, Malina and Zdrada destroyed half the house in an argument, Judgement broke too many things to count, and Cerberus required watching nearly all the time, lest she get into more mischief.

But all of that Azazel could deal with. It was the sleeping situation that made her start to reconsider her plan of staying here.

As nice as the Helltaker’s house was, it was woefully unprepared for nine extra people living in it. And nowhere was that more apparent than in the bedroom situation. The Helltaker had the master bedroom, and given his nightly… activities, the only one usually willing to sleep in there was whoever was banging him that night. And Modeus, but most of the time she wasn’t allowed.

The Helltaker managed to find a solution. He had a spare bedroom, which he set up with cots, air mattresses, and Lucifer’s custom-made blood-filled water bed that she’d insisted on importing from Hell. But there was only enough room for four people to sleep in there. Cerberus didn’t want a bed, and set herself up on the downstairs couch, so that made it a little easier. But there were still more sleeping spaces needed.

So he turned his tiny office into another bedroom. With some bunk beds from IKEA and a lot of creative swearing while assembling them, there was now enough space for everyone to sleep comfortably.

Well, sort of comfortably. The office-turned-bedroom, where Azazel found herself trying to sleep alongside Modeus, Justice, and Judgement, was extremely small.

She rolled over, her mind going over her research as it usually did. In the eight days since she’d met the Helltaker and joined his harem for scientific purposes, she’d learned more about demonkind than she’d ever thought possible. Their physiology, their culture, their psychology, their incredible beauty… She could become the leading Demonologist overnight when she returned to Heaven with her findings!

Azazel decided to remain on Earth for just a few more days, a week at most. Then she would return to the Golden City and publish her paper. Her path decided, she rolled over, ready to fall asleep…

And then the noises started up from the Helltakers room. Azazel’s eyes shot open and she felt her cheeks and ears turning red. It was insanely loud this time around, she could hear it through two closed doors.

Oh, right. It was Threesome Thursday. And judging from the moans and cries and assorted outbursts of slapping noises, begging to be hit harder, and maniacal laughter, the Helltaker had brought Pandemonica and Zdrada to bed. Wow. Azazel had to question his survival instincts for choosing such a combination.

Azazel was hoping to close her ears to it, but unfortunately, Modeus wasn’t asleep yet, and the noises set her off. Azazel was soon forced to listen to both the wild sex going on down the hall and the faint gasping, moaning, and creaking from the bunk above her. All she could find it in her to do was bury her head under the pillow to try and block out the noise. It didn’t work.

Azazel’s heart beat faster and faster at the sounds, and her breath sped up. Not from panic, but some other feeling, deep within her. Nope nope nope nope. Those thoughts and feelings had no place in an angel of heaven.

Except, she wasn’t in heaven now, was she? She was on Earth, in the realm of man, surrounded by demons. Beautiful, attractive, ravishing demon women…

“Gaaah!” Azazel hissed into her mattress. “What is _with_ me tonight?”

There was a loud crashing noise from down the hall, causing her to jump. The Helltaker and his partners must have broken the bed again. She wondered how exactly that happened…

No, no, no. She shook the titillating thoughts away. She was here on a mission: research demonkind. She was a scientist. And more importantly, she was an angel.

For angels, love, romance, and sex weren’t allowed. The job of the angels was to run heaven and protect the souls of humanity, and relationships might distract from that. Platonic friendships were allowed, but stamped out swiftly if there was any evidence of them turning into something more. Azazel had seen it happen many times. Privately, she wondered if the ban on relationships was worth it, but questioning it openly was not worth getting punished from the higher-ups. At best she’d be reassigned to some menial job in a lonely piece of Heaven with nobody ever taking her seriously again, at worst she’d be smited.

Above her, Modeus gave a final, drawn-out moan, and then was finally silent. The room down the hall was quiet too. Azazel made a mental note to check the Helltakers injuries in the morning.

She removed the pillow from her head, and settled into the sheets. There were a lot of things she needed to think about, but right now, sleep beckoned. Azazel rolled over, and her eyes drifted shut…

And then Judgement started snoring.

Groaning, Azazel sat up. Judgement was sprawled across the other top bunk, one arm dangling off of it, her mane of wild white hair billowing around her head, and the blankets bunched at her feet. Her snores were just about shaking the building. How Justice and Modeus could sleep through it, Azazel had no idea.

Azazel crawled back under the covers to try and ignore it, but then she heard another sound. Someone… talking? And it was coming from inside the room? She poked her head out to find the source.

Oh. Justice was talking in her sleep. Azazel couldn’t tell what exactly she was saying, but it must have been funny, because she was chuckling.

Azazel didn’t know if she preferred the sex noises over this, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. The first time Judgement started snoring, she’d tried to roll her over to stop it. Big mistake, the High Prosecutor punched her in the face on reflex, and Azazel got a lovely black eye. It was probably better to not risk that again.

The angel pulled the covers over her head to try and block out the noise. It didn’t really work, and she lay awake listening to the loud snores and mumbling from across the room, until eventually, the warmth of her bed and her tiredness got to her, and she drifted off.

* * *

Azazel was sound asleep, finally. Not even Judgement’s earth-shaking snores could awaken her.

_“...zel.”_

She hadn’t slept this well in months.

_“...Azazel.”_

Heaven wished it had beds as comfy as this.

_“Azazel!”_

Azazel opened her eyes to see a pair of red ones mere inches from her face.

“AAAH!” she yelped, miraculously not waking anyone up.

“Oh good, you’re awake!” Cerberus said happily, giving a fanged smile.

“Cerberus, what…” Azazel sat up blearily. One of the triple demon’s bodies was sitting on her bed, the other two were peeking in the door.

“Can you let us out?” whined Cerberus.

“Why?”

“We need to run around…”

“Can’t you ask the Helltaker?”

“No way!” Cerberus whispered, all six of her eyes growing huge. “He’s got Pandemonica and Zdrada in there!”

“They don’t like getting woken up…” another body added meekly.

Azazel sighed, and got out of bed. “Fine.”

The floorboards didn’t so much as squeak when she walked over them. She headed downstairs, Cerberus following behind.

The Helltaker had set up a salt line in front of the doors to keep Cerberus from going on anymore nighttime escapades, and the only ones who could get rid of them were himself and Azazel.

Azazel brushed aside the salt, and opened the back door. Cerberus pelted outside happily.

“If you get into any trouble, Mr Helltaker’s gonna get you guys shock collars!” Azazel called after them.

“Like that’d ever stop them.” said a deep voice from behind her.

Azazel jumped in surprise and turned to see the Helltaker standing behind her, clad in a red bathrobe, and absolutely covered in bruises and marks.

“Oh heavens, you scared me.” Azazel said. “Um, you don’t look too good.”

“Yeah, Pandemonica and Zdrada did a number on me. It was worth it...” A dreamy smile spread across his face.

“If you say so.” Azazel said. “Why are you up?”

“I was going for an ice pack when I heard you letting Cerb out.” The Helltaker opened the freezer and began rummaging through it.

“Ice pack? For your bruises…” Azazel’s voice trailed off as the Helltaker pulled out a bag of ice and held it to his crotch, sighing in relief.

This was kind of awkward.

“So…”

“So…”

“You’re from Heaven, right?” the Helltaker asked.

“Um, yeah.”

“What’s it like?”

Azazel had to think for a second. “It’s… nice.”

The Helltaker raised an eyebrow. “That’s all? It’s just nice?”

“I mean, I’ve lived there for most of my existence, so I’m used to its splendor.” Azazel defended herself. “And words alone couldn’t possibly do it justice!”

That wasn’t all. To a human, Heaven was a paradise. It was designed to be one to the souls who went there. But to an angel, one who couldn’t conform or be what her superiors wanted her to be… it wasn’t so idyllic.

“As lovely as it is, I think you’d be much happier in Hell.” she told the Helltaker. He chuckled. “I should probably be getting back there soon…” Azazel mused.

“Back where? To Hell?”

“No, to Heaven.”

“Oh. Why?”

“Well, because…”

To her shock, Azazel realized going back to Heaven didn’t sound so appealing.

“Because my superiors will start wondering where I am.” she said lamely.

“Oh. Well, I hope you can stick around.” the Helltaker said.

“You do?”

“Yeah. I like having you around.”

Azazel felt a blush spread to her cheeks. “Oh… thank you.”

The Helltaker smiled at her.

The moment was broken when there came a loud clattering noise from outside, followed by furious yelping.

“Cerberus! No!” The Helltaker dropped his ice and sprinted out the back door, hoping to stop the triple demon from causing too much destruction.

Azazel giggled as she watched him sprint out into the night, bathrobe streaming behind him.

On second thought, one more week here wasn’t enough. Maybe two, or three, or even more...


End file.
